Cootie Queen

Things never really go the way I want it. I think I can speak for a lot of people when I say that if luck exists, and there are lucky people out there, then dammit, I just do not fall into that group. For as long as I can remember, I was never lucky. Back when I was six years old in the first grade was when I had this revelation. 

I was the new kid in class, so I had to be cautious. These kids didn’t know me; I was already cool because I wasn’t understood yet. One wrong move or if I said the wrong thing could have meant social suicide for my grade school years.  

It was a little after noon, which meant it was story time, but sometimes Ms. Eubanks would just tell stories from her memory if she didn’t feel like grabbing a book that day. There was this boy in my class. Although I do not remember his name, he was the second friend I made in class. The first friend I made was Danielle Williams. 

Anyways, the boy was really nice, he would always answer my questions and share his crayons with me. Well, during “story time,” we sat next to each other. I loved having him as my friend along with Danielle, and I was eager to let him know that. So I gave that really nice boy a hug and grabbed his hand to hold it. Immediately my classmates, who I thought were sucked into Ms. Eubanks story, reverted their attention toward us, my arms around him, holding one hand, with a smile on my face that quickly turned to confusion from everyone’s reaction. 

Cooties. 

That was the final result of my grand display of friendship. I had it for not only the rest of my first grade career, but for what felt like the rest of my time in the public school system. The nice boy never talked to me the same again, trying to alleviate his association with the cootie queen. And from there I encountered countless bullies, confrontations with my teachers and days where I just felt like things could never go right for me socially. 

My social awkwardness was just the proof that I am just an unlucky being. I have some instances where the stars align for me and some goes my way for once, but that never beat the crappy stuff that seem to happen to me on a day to day basis. If I had to be lucky for something it would be for my life and the lives of those I love. But isn’t all that generic, uncontrollable luck anyways? Whatever the case may be, if luck was a tree, I am not even considered a branch.

 I am more like a leaf growing from it, or the ladybug that lands on it from time to time.